It's been a while!!
I know it's been a while, but I have been so busy. And a lot has happened since I have last posted.I was going to go to UVA-Wise, but fin aid is going to take too long, so I am going to process everything for the following semester. My parents have not been supporive at all since I have decided to do this.
I am going home tomorrow since classes start the day after that. I am going to have to go JCC in NC for one semester, but that's it.
I had to say bye to Stacey this evening and it killed me. It felt as if my heart was being ripped out. I know that we are not dating or anything, but it feels like we are. I think that Stacey is scared to call it "dating" b/c he is scared of it getting too serious. I told him tonight that I loved him. I sang for him today, too. And I have never sang for any one person. I always sing to a crowd, but today I just felt like I could sing in front of him, but I really wasn't nervous. I always get nervous no matter who I sing in front of, but not him.....it was just......different with him.
I have never felt like this with anyother guy in my life. With other guys that I have dated, I thought that it was love, but this.....wow. I feel like I'm floating on clouds and nothing could bring me down from that high. I feel so comfortable with him. I even cried in front of him today. I was singing "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks and I was hugging him from behind and resting my head on his shoulder. I was singing it and when it came to this part that is so personal to me, I just lost it and I tried to keep singing and he was so sweet. He turned around and hugged me and told me not to cry. I cried about 3 times in front of him today...and I never cry in front of anyone....and I cried in front of him. I sang for him, I cried for him, I walked out on his farm with him and talked, and just had the time of life.
The hardest thing about leaving Pound is that I'm not going to be able to see him whenever I want. I know that it's odd for me to say things like this, but when I was in Texas, for only 2 weeks, I was broken up inside b/c I couldn't see him. When I got back into Pound, it was like I had never left and we just talked and caught up on old times. I know that it's gonna be the same way when I get back, but there is always gonna be that doubt in my head just to annoy me.
*sigh* I love him so much. And it breaks my heart to know that he is just as torn up inside as I am. Even though he won't say he is b/c he wants to be strong for me, I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. *sigh* I'm falling head over heels for Stacey!!
Well, I need to get in bed so I can get on the road early in the morning!
*~*GB*~*
posted by *~*HollyMarie*~* @ 11:06 PM
1 Comments:
girl, it's always good to read your posts..they're always so sincere and from the heart..*hugs*
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