*Sigh*
Well....the past 48 hours or lil' less have been very interesting, to say the least.Let's start with last night when Justin and Stacey were supposed to get here. Justin didn't make it, and he's one of the main one's that I need to be able to count on, but it wasn't his fault. And then Stacey didn't show up until about 7 or a lil' after. The worst possible senario had occured....me and Stacey alone, by ourselves since the breakup. I don't know how he took the whole situation, but it was really hard on me. I had to sit there and put on a fake happy face and pretend that I was ok, but really, on the inside I was crying and screaming. I hate this feeling and I hope that time will make it go away. I know that we only dated for about 3 weeks, but still, that doesn't make it any easier. I really miss him. And it's not the kissing and stuff like that I miss so much, but the moments that we layed outside on his porch and talked for 2 hours, or the time that we layed in his bed and watched Star Wars, or the time that we walked around Wal-Mart and held hands and looked at the toys. *sigh* Things like that is what I really miss. And times that we just talked, not about anything specific, but maybe about our families, or about how much we both are in love with band, or when he took me up on his farm and he told me about his family and then showed me animals.
Ok, I'm starting to cry and I promised myself last night that I would stop this....but I can't. Don't get me wrong, I really like him, I just hate feeling this way and feeling like part of me is missing. And I had a really good time last night, it almost made me forget that we really weren't together, but then certain things that he or I would say would remind me. It was so hard not to hug him and hold his hand and kiss him good bye when he left. Holly, STOP IT, right now, stop crying.......BUT I CAN'T!!!!!!
Ok, that was yesterday evening.
This morning I was supposed to go to my chiropractor but when my alarm when off, I just couldn't get up and at it, prolly b/c I had such a crappy evening and it haughted my sleep and dreams. Anyways, I got awake enough to call Dillon's office and ask them if it was too late to cancel, it was a lil' less than an hour before my appointment, and M. said no that I could come in tomorrow at 10:45.
Well, I cancelled my meeting with Justin and Stacey for this evening b/c Stacey had a tennis tourny and I had to get my eyebrows waxed at 6 and I had to go pick up La from the airport at 11 about an hour and a half from here. We left here around 8 b/c we had to go to Steve's and get some of La's stuff from his house and then we headed to the airport. I got to see my Mo.....hehe....and of course I got to see La and Bishop. I really missed them all. And oh my goodness, Mo looked so good today. I don't know if it's b/c I haven't seen him in a week, but he had the rough, scraggly beard/goatie, or however you spell it, going on and I even told him that he was looking quite hot like that. *sigh* I melted when I saw him like that. I can't wait til we get a chance to talk, cuz we REALLY need to talk. I just hope that that wasn't why Stacey broke up with me. I really do like Mo, and have ever since last year, but now, I just see him more as a really, really good friend that I can talk to about anything. We could never date, at least not in the near future....b/c I'm holding out for Stacey....hoping that something might change or happen. Anyways....we left the airport and got something to eat at IHOP and then headed back home. We got here around 2 or so....I'm so tired and worn out that I can't sleep...Have you ever been that way? And I have to get up around 9:30 to get of here on time to get to my Chiropractor and I really REALLY need to see him...I've missed him so far this week and it's only Tuesday, well actually it's Wednesday. OH....and I have to go to work tomorrow. UGH!
Well, I think I'm gonna TRY to go and get some sleep before the butt crack of dawn comes! Leave me some love!
*~*God Bless*~*
posted by *~*HollyMarie*~* @ 1:41 AM
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