I should be in bed....
I have a class at 8 in the morning and I have to get up at 6:30 to get ready. And it's 1am...I should be in bed asleep, but I just can't.I talked to Stacey tonight for 2 hours on the phone...thank God for unlimited long distance and free nights and weekends on cell phones! lol..We talked about so much tonight. I have never felt so open to someone and feel safe. My love for him just keeps growing and growing and I'm not even in the same state as him. God just keeps amazing me. I am so thankful to God for BLESSING me with such a great friend like Stacey. Yes, we have somethings that I'm not happy about, but things will work out and it's all God's will. We talked about so much tonight, things that I wouldn't tell a soul, not even my sister. I can tell him anything. I am not usually a very trusting person because I have been hurt so much, but I feel completely open to him and I know that he won't betray my trust and I won't betray his. I'm just speechless on how our relationship is. I found a song that I really like that has so much personal meaning to me. I tried copying and pasting but it didn't work...so here's the URL. http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/dixie-chicks/40997.html Well, I'm starting to get tired and I should try to make myself go to sleep so I will get up for class tomorrow! Please continue to keep my in your prayers!*~*God Bless*~*
Things are a lil' better!
Well, Stacey called me last night after the football game! PHS won!!!!!!! Stacey said that the football said that they were playing for D. Aww....I cried when he told me that. How sweet can you get, at least when you are talking about these huge guys that tackle each other! lol...He said that the band played really really well, which really surprised me b/c the way he was talking the night before the game was like they were gonna do really bad. But I'm so glad that they did great. And they had their band shirts on and everyone was asking them if they could buy them! YAY! The band is getting some recongnition! Stacey was in such a great mood last night. I was really worried about him the night before. And last night when we were talking, I told him that I loved him. *sigh* I really do, I really really love him. And he told me that he missed me. I almost cried....I really wanted to...when I got off the phone I did cry. I can't wait til next weekend when I get to spend the whole weekend with him. I just wish that he would breakup with his girlfriend...and I'm not just saying that b/c I want to be with him, although it is one reason. But he said that last night he couldn't do anything right. And it's really not a relationship. They can't go out on dates b/c her parents won't let her and they can't talk to each other at band pratice b/c they are practicing and then when practice is over, he can't talk to her b/c her dad doesn't like him. So, the only time that they can truely spend time together is when they are at games and when they talk on the phone. I mean, me and him have done more in the past 2 or 3 weeks then him and his REAL girlfriend have done. He's starting to get frustrated and so am I b/c I hate to see him this way. Well, I'm going over to my bother and sister-in-law's house for the day. Still keep me in your prayers please!!*~*GB*~*
Why??
Why do things always seem to go so bad when they seem like they couldn't get any worse. I know I'm not directly affected by this, but I'm still affected. Ok, here's the story. I went to church last night at a new church b/c Josh was preaching there to kick off their revival, so I decided to go support him. I had this really bad feeling that Stacey would call. I usually know when he's gonna call b/c I just get those feelings, but his time I got this feeling that he was gonna call and something was gonna be wrong. And was I right. I got out of service and I saw that he called me twice. He never calls me twice, and he called me twice within about 10 minutes and he left me a voice mail. In the voice mail it sounded like he was about to cry and like he really needed to call. So, before I even get in the car, I call him and I get his answering machine and I left a message. Then, I got home and called about 4 more times b/c I was really worried about him. He never gets upset.Well, around 10:00 he calls. He sounded so horrid. I don't think I have ever heard him so messed up. He asked me if I remembered D.H. and I said, "Yes. Isn't that your best friend?" And he said, "Yes. He got in a wreck last night. It was really bad." I thought he was gonna cry telling me that. My heart broke for him. He said that D split his chin open, broke ribs, broke some an arm, and shattered his femur. I talked to my cousin afterwards and she said they had to airflight him out. The weekend that I need to go home, I can't. My orginal plan was to go this weekend, but my dad said that if I use his gas card for me to wait until next weekend so I won't rush and I will have a long weekend. But I really needed to go this weekend and be there for Stacey. He ended up crying the more he talked about it and he said that he wished that it was him that it happened to instead of D. And his family isn't really being there for him like they need to be. Whenever he talks about it, they turn it around and say things like, "See, you shouldn't do stuff like that or the same thing will happen to you." Stacey doesn't need to hear something like that, he needs to hear that they are there for him and that everything is going to work out ok. Out of all of the people that he knows, including his girlfirend (I use that term loosely) and family, he called me. The person that he known the least amount of time, but feels the most comfortable with. I am so glad that God has blessed me with that relationship. I don't know what we would have done this summer had it not been for each other. I told him no matter what time he needed to talk, even if it was at 2:37 in the morning, he could still call me. And I meant it. I am here for him. He really someone that will listen to him and not judge him and just be there for him. And I'm glad that I can be that person. I have gotten so close to him that it's unbelieveable that we haven't known each other our whole lives the way we act around each other. We have known each other almost 3 months and I feel like I have known him my entire life. I can tell him everything. There is nothing that I can't tell him and feel comfortable around him. There is one thing that I need to work on, though, or he is gonna kill me. lol...I don't hardly eat infront of him. I am very pick who I eat infront of, but I have gotten so much better about it. Well, I'm gonna go. I'm tired and I have a chance to sleep before I go to class at 1. I'll update later and let everyone know how D and Stacey are doing! Please keep us in your prayers.*~*GB*~*
3 Days and 10 hours-ish.....
But hey, whose counting! lol...That count is for when I get to leave and go to VA. YAY!! I get to see my friends and aunt and uncle and my fav cuz. The good thing is that the past week and a half has FLOWN by!Classes are ok. I'm just bored overall. I know that it is only the 2nd week, but geez..that is usually when a college student should be freaking out and thinking "What have I gotten myself into?" But I haven't felt that way. I am taking 15 hours and I do not feel like I am taking enough. Maybe I will feel differenly later on in the semester, but geez...I hope it gets better. There are only 2 classes out of 6 that I like and am challenged in and that is Art App and Water Aerobics. Well, I will explain more when I have time too and don't feel so tired. I will give my schedule the next time I post!*~*God Bless*~*
Classes have begun!!!
Well...I'm officially a college student. I started class yesterday. I have mixed feelings about it. I know that I like the classes and the people, but I'm scared to like it too much b/c then I won't want to leave here in January and I have to go back to Pound.
I have an 8 am class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday...but I have huge 2 1/2 hour break after that. So, it's not too bad. And I have a water aerobics class on MWF too. My schedule isn't that bad. I'm taking 15 hours, but it seems so easy. But I know I won't be saying that when I start working and have tests in multiple classes. BUT...I have to keep a positive attitude so I will do well and won't get sick again. When I started thinking about how badly I didn't want to come here, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, and my stomach KILLED me. I'm still having some of those problems, but God will see me thru this and if I have to, I will see a doctor about it. Depression and anxiety are both in my family, so I need to keep an eye on myself and keep myself healthy so I will do well in classes.Well, I have to get up around 6:30 so I can get to class on time! lol....I'm gonna head on to bed. Please keep me in your prayers!*~*God Bless*~*
It's been a while!!
I know it's been a while, but I have been so busy. And a lot has happened since I have last posted.
I was going to go to UVA-Wise, but fin aid is going to take too long, so I am going to process everything for the following semester. My parents have not been supporive at all since I have decided to do this.
I am going home tomorrow since classes start the day after that. I am going to have to go JCC in NC for one semester, but that's it.
I had to say bye to Stacey this evening and it killed me. It felt as if my heart was being ripped out. I know that we are not dating or anything, but it feels like we are. I think that Stacey is scared to call it "dating" b/c he is scared of it getting too serious. I told him tonight that I loved him. I sang for him today, too. And I have never sang for any one person. I always sing to a crowd, but today I just felt like I could sing in front of him, but I really wasn't nervous. I always get nervous no matter who I sing in front of, but not him.....it was just......different with him.
I have never felt like this with anyother guy in my life. With other guys that I have dated, I thought that it was love, but this.....wow. I feel like I'm floating on clouds and nothing could bring me down from that high. I feel so comfortable with him. I even cried in front of him today. I was singing "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks and I was hugging him from behind and resting my head on his shoulder. I was singing it and when it came to this part that is so personal to me, I just lost it and I tried to keep singing and he was so sweet. He turned around and hugged me and told me not to cry. I cried about 3 times in front of him today...and I never cry in front of anyone....and I cried in front of him. I sang for him, I cried for him, I walked out on his farm with him and talked, and just had the time of life.
The hardest thing about leaving Pound is that I'm not going to be able to see him whenever I want. I know that it's odd for me to say things like this, but when I was in Texas, for only 2 weeks, I was broken up inside b/c I couldn't see him. When I got back into Pound, it was like I had never left and we just talked and caught up on old times. I know that it's gonna be the same way when I get back, but there is always gonna be that doubt in my head just to annoy me.
*sigh* I love him so much. And it breaks my heart to know that he is just as torn up inside as I am. Even though he won't say he is b/c he wants to be strong for me, I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. *sigh* I'm falling head over heels for Stacey!!
Well, I need to get in bed so I can get on the road early in the morning!
*~*GB*~*
Graduation Is Almost Here!!!
