The Good Ol' Days
I miss the good ol' days when everything was simple. And the hardest decision was when you had to decide between what CD you wanted, or what you were going to wear to school, or what friend you were gonna go hang out with on the weekend, or if you wanted gummy bears or skittles....Then, love gets involved and things aren't simple anymore....You don't care if you get The All American Rejects or Carrie Underwood CD, you don't care if you wear a dress or jeans and a t-shirt, you don't care if you are gonna hang out with La or Andy, or if you want skittles or gummy bears....All you care about is making the right decision that won't mess up your life. You want him back, you are so scared that you will hurt him again. You don't even know if he even still cares that you are alive, much less still love you. You don't care if he's with another girl, as long as he's happy and she treats him better than you did. You want to get back with him, but you are with someone else right now that could seriously go somewhere...And you don't wanna hurt him like you hurt the other guy....You think you are over him, but then one lil dream one night out of the blue goes and fucks everything up...It gets you thinking about the amazing times you had together...Like when you would go to the mall with him and pick out things you were going to decorate your house with, times when you decided what you were going to name you first girl (Piper Marie) and you first boy (David Jess) and you had a lil fight over the names and you came to the conclusion that you were going to have more than one girl and one boy...You remember the times when you would go up to Beer Rock and look out over the lake and look at the stars and smoke....You remember going up to the dam and laying out at the overlook spot and looking up at the stars and talking about nothing, but say everything...Or the time you were at his house right before Christmas and shared old family stories and learned that his family is so amazing, yet wacko at the same time....Or the time that you first told him that you loved him and he didn't say anything back, but you could hear his heart say it back....Or the times that you would have to leave for a few weeks and how you would cry and cry until he told you that it was ok. You want it all back, but then again, you don't....Because you don't deserve it...You had it once and you ruined it....You threw it all away....It's all your fault and you don't deserve to find that kind of love again....I guess it's true what they say..Love isn't enough....But why? Why can't it be enough?
You always think you are over him, but you know deep down in your heart and soul you will never be over and you won't be the same after that....
I'm happy again...
He loves me.....hehe...I'm so happy...No, we're not in love, but he does love me and I love him...hehe...I'm not telling who "he" is b/c I don't want to jinx it....But hehehe...I'm happy and so is he....*~*Holly*~*Leave the love...hehe
It's been a while...
I know...I've been slack lately about updating and all....I've been busy....I'm still babysitting my 4 month old nephew full time...And it looks like I will be doing that for a long time now....The other nanny didn't workout, so now I will be the nanny...YAY...that means I get paid to live with my brother and his wife AND I get paid to babysit my precious lil nephew....Ok, time to go check on the baby.....Leave me some love cuz I need it!*~*Holly*~*
Life blows right now...
First I wanna say that I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've updated.Ok, yea, I got a ring from Stacey for Christmas...But then 3 days after Christmas, he broke up with me...I'm gonna try to sum it for you...Ok, it was a Wednesday night and we were hanging out at my aunt's house watching a movie. Well, I wanted something from upstairs, so he went up with me. The upstairs phone rang and my aunt said that it was for me. I asked who it was and she said that she didn't know b/c the number was blocked.I answered the phone and it was Kelvin, my ex. We are still really good friends, but there is nothing romantic between us what so ever, we are just great friends. I got off the phone with him b/c I told him was hanging out with Stacey. I wasn't on the phone that long, not even 5 minutes. Stacey asked who it was and I wasn't gonna lie to him. I told him that it was Kelvin. Stacey went back downstairs and got his stuff and stormed out. He didn't say anything about it being over or nothing, he just left. He wouldn't even look at me.He called me about 2 hours later and told me that he thought I was trying to push my limits and see how far I could push them, which is totally not true. And he told me that it was over.I just don't understand that if he loved like he said he did, why he would get so upset and completely break it off over a phone call from a really good friend of mine. I can see him getting upset or jealous, but not completely breaking it off. It's been almost 3 weeks now and I'm still not doing so great. I'm getting better. But within the first week that it happened, I lost 10 pounds, and I've lost about 5 or 6 more since then. Yes, I'm happy that I'm losing weight, but I hate how I'm losing it. I'm not sleeping at night, I stay up to about 5 or 6 am. I don't eat. I average about one small meal a day, if it's a good day. I'll be ok, but it's just going to take some time. So, please keep me in your thoughts.....Luvs and Hugs...*~*Holly*~*
Couldn't be HAPPIER!!!
Things couldn't be better right now! I'm back with Stacey...We are officially dating again. YAY!!! We have given each other part of Christmas presents. I gave him Dukes of Hazzard DVD and a pack of gum (hehe....funny story). And he's given me a Betty Boop bobble head and, get this, a RING!!! It doesn't mean anything particular...but OMG!!! HE GOT ME A RING!!!!! I love him so much.
It's been so long since I've been this happy. I really messed some things up when I was dating Kelvin, but now we are working things out and I couldn't be happier. I feel like going outside and finding a cliff and standing on the edge and scream my lungs out becuase I'm so happy. EEKKKK!!!
Well, right now I'm at a lose for words...hehe...He takes my breath away!!!
*~*Holly*~*
I <3>
Sorry!!!!
Sorry it's been so long...I've been so busy and stressed out lately. BUT!! I can say that things are better now that in VA for the holidays and spending time with my hunny!! Yes, I'm back with Stacey!!! YAY!! I'm so happy. I know I've done some really bad things to Stacey, not him specifically, but things that hurt him and I'm sorry for that. But we are moving on and I couldn't be happier!
Well, I have lots to do and people to try to see this evening! Leave me some love!!!
*~*Holly*~*
It's been way too long!
Wow! It's been way too long! So much has happened! I have been hanging out with Kelvin. *sigh* Good times, good times. I'm gonna go into detail with that situation, but let's just say that I'm happy. Things could be better between me and Stacey. He's not so fond of me dating Kelvin. After all the nights that I have cried over him, now he wants me to drop my life and be with him? I don't think so. Yes, I still love Stacey, but I want to see where this is going with Kelvin, too. I had an okay Thanksgiving. Lots of family, lots of talking, lots of boredom! lol...Well, that's all the updating that I'm going to do because I've been typing all night! Leave me some love!*~*God Bless*~*
Graduation Is Almost Here!!!
